Perfection, nothing less.

Perspectives of the world:

2012-01-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Optimist – The glass is half-full.
Pessimist – The glass is half-empty.
Existentialist – The glass is.
Fatalist – The water will evaporate.
Futurist – The water is in the wrong half of the glass.
Feminist – All glasses are equal.
Narcissist – Look at me in the water!
Polygamist – The more glasses the merrier.
Nudist – The glass isn’t wearing anything. Why should I?
Baptist – The Lord in His infinite wisdom hast giveth us only half a glass of water for a reason!
Evangelist – The glass must repent.
Atheist – There is no glass.
Egoist – My glass is bigger than yours.
The Obsessive/Compulsive – There’s a smudge on the glass.
The Government – The glass is fuller than if the opposing party were in power.
Opposing Party – It is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
Republican – Hey, who drank half of my glass of water?
Anarchist – Break the glass.
Revolutionist – Dump the glass out and fill it again.
Socialist – Share the glass.
Capitalist – Sell the glass.
Corporatist – That glass is ours, and only ours.
Market Consultant – Your glass needs resizing.
Actuary – Personally, I think you paid too much for the glass.
Attorney – The glass is half-empty since it believes its compensation is never enough.
Psychiatrist – What did your mother say about the glass?
Psychologist – How does the water feel about the glass?
Philosopher – If the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?Sociologist – I don't know, but it was nice talking about it.
Engineer – The glass is twice as large as its necessary parameters.
Physicist – The cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a liquid, one with a gas.
Logician – Please define 'glass' more precisely.
Mathematician – I don't know if it's half-full or half-empty, but I can tell you an answer exists!Combinatorialist – The task of choosing an arbitrary water molecule has been reduced to 2 subcases.
PC User – Let's restart it and maybe it will fill up this time.
Mac User – I swear! Apple invented water…or at least made it much better!
Linux User – I’ll turn the water back into oxygen and hydrogen, then take a glass cutter and cut off the top half of the glass. Finally, I'll recompile the water, then drink it…and eat the glass.
Microsoft – The rest of the water will be in the next release.
Pascal Programmer – Well, what type of water is it?
C Programmer – I drink straight from the tap.Assembly Programmer – I drink straight from the river.Multimedia Author – That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Copyrights Protection Fanatics – Somebody drank my water and didn’t pay for it!
Free Software Foundation – The water is Nature’s gift to all mankind!
CIA – What makes you think that’s water?
NSA – We know what it really is.

Decisions

2011-12-19T01:15:00.002+08:00

Many people I know don't have happy families, they want to leave the house as soon as they're 18, as soon as they're old enough to support themselves. I once felt like that as well..
Everything was falling apart, there's no point in staying on when it has reached this stage. All those I knew all longed to get out, because they were never given that choice to leave. At this age, many think of freedom as something, indescribable, a pure longing, that they feel will never be given to them, at least not yet. I thought of moving out as freedom, as a break from them. On school days it was fine, I only saw them at night and on weekends, their presence wasn't such a bad thing afterall, until we started fighting. But even then, it would last for less than 10 minutes, because all of us had work to do, no one wanted to waste time on trivia things. It was the holidays that were the killers..
I hate to admit, that I've grown so accustomed to being alone at home, just being like there was no one around me, no one alive. It was the only time I felt happy. During the holidays, unlike others, I'm not alone, for once. And that just throws me off. I hate to admit it, but I find the existence of any human being in a 50m radius a hindrance. I don't hate the person. I just want to be alone.
We've been fighting for many years now. The only 2 major fights we've had all happened this year, both times I've threatened to move out for good, the first time I moved out for about a month, and well the second time is now.
Many of those I know unhappy with their families would have jumped at an opportunity to move out, especially when your parents are supportive, it kills them, but they just want you to be happy. Sometimes, I think maybe it would be better if you had never been given that choice. Straight after the fight, or even in the middle of the fight, your immediate answer would be I don't care how, I'll move out now. Then when you sit down and think about it, you question why you're doing this.
I don't hate my family. I don't hate my parents. At least I hope I don't. He can be really really temperamental, and its difficult to accept, because you want to understand, but there's almost no way. If I move, it'll be because of him. I need time alone, but moving out forever may just be a wrong move. Recalling why I even moved back in the first place. Sure, for one it was because of the sudden disconnection in internet, but on the other hand, I missed them.
I haven't been the closest to them all my life, but there was just this longing to move back. Maybe why I want to move is because I think I'd be more productive there..
Being alone just gives me a greater sense of security, time in which I can really think and reflect. Sometimes I think I reflect too much. It makes me depressed..
Well of course that kind of productivity comes with a price, but well my health has never really been much of my concern.
I really don't know what I should do, giving this decision would probably have been a big choice for my parents. They could either let me find out the real meaning of our relationship through this process, or lose me forever. Frankly I don't want to lose them either.
I just want the drama to stop,
telling him won't work,
that's asking him to change his nature,
maybe it's also my fault,
so me moving will make them happier,
but it's obvious they're reluctant to let me go,
he's trying to change,
its only when he's mad for no reason.
I really don't know what to do, but the next few nights aren't going to be easy.

Timeless

2011-12-07T14:47:00.001+08:00

've not posted since I came back from the trip, but well maybe because I've been feeling abnormal ever since, the days are passing by too quickly. I question what I've been doing these days, besides sleeping my life away.. Its like I don't even remember what I did these few days.

They all pass in a blur.

New responsibilities have come in as well, 2012 Crezmun. Got elected as Asst. Secretary General, I really don't know if I can cope next year, still running events like this year, okay maybe not like this year, this year was crazy. Not the same, but similar. My parents question my dedication towards my studies. Well, all I can say is, if I want to handle all these things, something will have to be sacrificed, which obviously will be health. I wonder how many hours of sleep I'd average next year. This year it was 2-3hrs a day, obviously it wasn't enough, but well I deal with it. I wouldn't say there was no choice, but if I wanted to not sacrifice that, then some of my responsibilities would obviously have to go, and I just couldn't let go. Hopefully next year I can start catching at least 5hrs of sleep a day..

My plan to finish sec 4 syllabus by the end of the year is.. Epic fail, I don't have the motivation, at all. Everyone is questioning my sanity for even wanting to do it, but I say, how else will I survive next year? I'm missing common tests, I'm going to be busy with Crezmun during MYEs. The only way is to plan ahead and make sure I do consistently well. Expectations which have been non-existent from my parents until now, have started coming in. Discussing which JC I wanna go to has been absolutely hell. It seems that they're against me going overseas to study, even if I say I'll fight for a scholarship. Then the question, you think you're good enough to get one? At this point all I want to tell them is, if you're going to doubt this much, maybe I'll fail my O Levels, maybe I won't even be eligible for JC, so why think about it if there's this possibility there may not be that chance to make that choice? Plan ahead, but take one step at a time. They seem to fail to understand that.

They take my MUN achievements like they're normal competitions. They have questioned my reasons for going for the NY MUN next year. What's the point of going? You going into something related in the future? Isn't the O Levels more important? Where are your priorities? If you want to go, can you still guarantee that you'll do well for O levels?

Look. DEFINE Well. You've never told me exact expectations, you just tell me you want me to do my best. Then how am I supposed to gauge what is well done and what is not. I get indefinite expectations from everyone. In school, before I set out on a task, they tell me, so you know roughly what I want right? Am I supposed to say No? Sometimes they don't even know what they want, but they expect me to give them what they want. Just because I was a magician doesn't make me a mind-reader. At home, you tell me its fine not to do well as long as I've learnt from the experience. Wait till I get home with the results, pure disappointing. But you said like the night before that results don't really matter. What?! You want me to trust. Ever thought How?

My parents ask why I'm sleeping so late or rather to be exact "early". Well if they really wanted to know, because I'm avoiding all contact with them. I'm used to a lone world. I don't like being around people. I get it, its your school holidays as well, you're staying at home. I'm not used to that ok? I stay up because I get the feeling of being alone. To me that's an ecstasy. Its a longing in me. Maybe you just don't understand. I tried explaining that to you guys, and you shoot me down asking, do I disturb you when I'm at home? No you don't. I just can't stand the presence of any living creature,

I wish I could move out again, just like I did in June. Preparing for ACMUN was so much easier, I worked with my time however I liked.

In fact, I'm timeless.

YMGE 2011 Post-reflections

2011-12-01T00:07:00.001+08:00

I never thought i'd meet such a nice, caring, fun-loving group of people on this trip. I never knew them well enough before, but after spending these 11+ days with them, I actually feel emotionally attached to them. I've probably interacted with everyone on this trip, and definitely gotten to know them better.

I've gotten to know them in many ways, most of them rather unexpectedly..
Through..
talking during meals,
having late night convos at the lobby/room/gym,
playing the piano,
all-nighter research,
plane/bus/train journeys,
being invited to their council to give an explanation for the authorization of military exercises.

All of them are the most caring and I must say cute bunch ever, never failing to amuse me, even when I'm feeling down, well except for the spazzing parts, I found that...

Definitely when I see some of you in school I'll have different reactions from what I had before the trip. Obviously running away from *ahem* those who were hugging me like I was a soft toy *ahem*. I'm not cuddly!!! >.<

Many things happened, luckily nothing major, but we all had many valuable experiences to take away with us, not to mention friends too.

YMGE, I really admire the organisers for trying so hard to make this work out, and would say this turned out to be quite a success. I really appreciate their efforts, and salute them for it.

My council mates:

Greek Cabinet- You guys were great, actively participating in debate, and supporting each other in most decisions. Everyone gave their opinions, and we really worked together to make it work out.

Defense council of ministers- You guys are really a fun-loving bunch, and I enjoyed every min of crisis, even when were were called to Euro Parl to give an explanation, its was miscommunication, but rather interesting. We stuck by our decision, for better or for worse ;)

Getting outstanding delegate was an interesting experience, both heart-stopping and to some extent disappointing. Everyone was happy for me, but I feel that I could have pushed harder, and exceeded all expectations. I guess I should be content with what I have, but I won't.

Oh well, now to work on my next 2 MUNs, so I'm flying again in about 3 months to US, hope this time it won't be such a disappointment. Time to prioritise!
Need to juggle studies, MUN and CCA. sighs. Its going to be hard, but do what you do best.

Don't give up. There are many behind you. Or so I hope...

--------Speechless--------

2011-11-15T21:05:00.001+08:00

Suddenly I feel like I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I feel lost, its like when I look back at the decisions I made, they feel alien. I think of the future, its like I don't know what to expect anymore. My parents are against me going into IT Sector, which I absolutely fail to comprehend.. Its probably something that I don't need to start from scratch.

It seems like everything I do meets disapproval from them.
I did magic, they didn't like it, said it was a waste of time and money.
Now I want to try IT, and they say its too stressful.. Which job isn't -.-
Even the way I study is a debatable topic.. I wake up at 2 to study, they say I'm overstressing myself, and all I want to ask is, so when else will I find time to do work, something needs to be sacrificed right?! Then they nag that I'm putting my health at risk. Not like I have a choice right...

You can learn so much from a random comment/question

2011-11-03T22:06:00.002+08:00

Familiarity breeds contempt,
it isn't always true,
but to some extent yes,
trying not to think of the negative side,

The question actually jolted me,
how am i going to feel when I leave in approx 1 year's time,
will I feel sad that I'm leaving behind people who care,
or will I feel like I'm moving on...

Despite all the ups and downs i've had here,
I've actually to some extent enjoyed my stay here,
given a choice, I would't leave,
but then life is all about change,
and letting go..

But I can truthfully say,
If not for the things i've experienced here,
I would not be the person I am now.

I've learnt to see who I can trust,
who truly cares,
who truly wants to help,
who is out to use people,
who is out to stand to gain from others,
who is calculative,
who is passionate,
who will support others from time to time without asking for anything in return,

Whether good or bad, these experiences have made me a better person.

Perfect - Simple plan

2011-11-02T06:39:00.000+08:00

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

To all those who have expectations for me:
对不起
我不是永远可以完美的。。。
我只能尽力，
如果你还不满意，
对不起，
让您失望了。

I appreciate all your aspirations for me,
but I'm not that great.

Your expectations,
it seems like I never fully meet them.

To you it may seem half-hearted,
but to me it seems wayy worse,
when a piece of work gets rejected or deemed as failure,
I feel like killing myself for producing such work,
its just not me.

I hate who I'm becoming,
Just living to ....
Live up to expectation ...

There are..
365 days in a year,
12 months in a year,
+- 30 days in a month,
24 hours a day,
60 min an hour,
60 sec per min.

I'm still trying to maximize the time I have left,
cos frankly I don't think there's much left.

Exams

2011-10-05T16:05:00.001+08:00

No more hope... I'm losing control...

Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari

2011-09-30T20:13:00.003+08:00

いつも通りのある日のこと
君は突然立ち上がり言った
「今夜星を見に行こう」

たまにいいこと言うんだね
なんて皆して言って笑った
明かりもない道を
馬鹿みたいにはしゃいで歩いた
抱え込んだ孤独や不安に
押し潰されないように

真っ暗な世界から見上げた
夜空は　星が降るようで
いつからだろう君のことを
追いかける私がいた
どうかお願い驚かないで
聞いてよ私の
この思いを

「あれが、デネブ、アルタイル、ベガ」
君は指差す夏の大三角
覚えて空を見る
やっと見つけた織姫様
だけどどこだろう彦星様
これじゃ一人ぼっち

楽しげな　ひとつ隣の君
私は何も言えなくて
本当はずっと君のことを
どこかでわかっていた
見つかったって届きはしない
だめだよ泣かないで
そう言い聞かせた

強がる私は臆病で
興味がないようなフリをしてた

だけど

胸を刺す痛みは増してく
あぁそうか好きになるって
こういうことなんだね

どうしたい？
言ってごらん？
心の声がする
君の隣がいい
真実は残酷だ

言わなかった言えなかった
二度と　戻れない
あの夏の日煌めく星
今でも思い出せるよ

笑った顔も怒った顔も
大好きでした
可笑しいよね
わかってたのに
君の知らない私だけの秘密

夜を越えて遠い思い出の
君が指をさす
無邪気な声で

Translation:

On a day like every other day,
You suddenly stood up and said,
“Tonight let’s go see the stars”

“You say good things once in a while”
Said everyone as they laughed
On a street with no light
We walked while having fun like idiots.
In order to crush,
The loneliness and uncertainty we were carrying.

I looked up from a pitch black world
The night sky seemed as if it was raining stars
I wonder when, I started to
Chase after you.
Please, somehow
Don’t be surprised and listen
To these feelings of mine.

“That’s Deneb, Altari, and Vega”,
You finger pointed at the Summer Triangle.
I remember and looked at the sky.
I finally found Vega,
But where are you, Altair?
If it’s like this, you’re all alone.

The cheerful you who was one next to me,
I couldn’t say a word to you.
Truthfully, I understood my feelings for you,
Somewhere a long time ago.
I found it, but I won’t tell you.
“That’s no good, don’t cry”
Please let me hear that from you.

I was a coward and put on a tough face,
I pretended to be uninterested.

But…

The pain piercing my chest increased
Ah, I see. To like someone,
Is something like this.

What’s the matter?
Try saying it?
My heart is beating
I’m fine by your side
The truth is cruel.

I didn’t say it,
I couldn’t say it.
We can never return.

To that summer day,
To those shining stars.
Even now, I still remember.
Your laughing face,
Your angry face.
I loved you.

It’s strange, isn’t it?
Even though I know that.
Something you don’t know,
A secret for me alone.
Across the night,
From a distant memory,
You pointed with your finger,
And in an innocent voice,

On a day like every other day,

You suddenly stood up and said,

“Tonight let’s go see the stars”

“You say good things once in a while”

Said everyone as they laughed

On a street with no light

We walked while having fun like idiots.

In order to crush,

The loneliness and uncertainty we are carrying.

I looked up from a pitch black world

The night sky seemed as if it was raining stars

I wonder when, I started to

Chase after you.

Please, somehow

Don’t be surprised and listen

To these feelings of mine.

“That’s Deneb, Altari, and Vega”,

You finger pointed at the Summer Triangle.

I remember and looked at the sky.

I finally found Vega,

But where are you, Altair?

If it’s like this, you’re all alone.

The cheerful you who was one next to me,

I couldn’t say a word.

Truthfully, for a long time, about you

I understood somewhere

I found it, but I won’t tell you.

“That’s no good, don’t cry”

Please let me hear that from you.

I was a coward and put on a tough face,

I pretended to uninterested.

But…

The pain piercing my chest increased

Ah, I see. To like someone,

Is something like this.

What’s the matter?

Try saying it?

My heart is making sounds

I’m fine by your side

The truth is cruel.

I didn’t say it,

I couldn’t say it.

We can never return.

To that summer day,

To those shining stars.

Even now, I still remember.

Your laughing face,

Your angry face.

I loved you.

It’s strange, isn’t it?

Even though I know that.

Something you don’t know,

A secret for only me.

Across the night,

From a distant memory,

You pointed with your finger,

And in an innocent voice,

21st CENTURY - The "Less" Century

2011-09-05T16:16:00.001+08:00

Comms - Wireless
Phones - Cordless
Cooking - Fireless
Food - Fatless
Sweets - Sugarless
Labour - Effortless
Relations - Fruitless
Attitude - Careless
Feelings - Heartless
Education - Worthless
Mistakes - Countless
Complaints - Baseless
Youth - Jobless
Ladies - Topless
Boss - Brainless
Jobs - Thankless
Needs - Endless
Situation - Hopeless
Salaries - LESS & LESS

BRAIN - USE LESS

(Y)

2011-08-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

EOYs are in exactly 5 weeks.

There is no reason for my internet to remain THIS connected.

Elearning 2011-day 5 Part 2

2011-08-19T22:06:00.002+08:00

My last day of elearning,
Last lesson of elearning,

Gone.

PS >.< I have a feeling we won't have any in sec 4 either

Elearning 2011-day 5

2011-08-19T09:40:00.000+08:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo
I don't want elearning to end...
like NEVERRRR ...
ok before elearning I was like I don't want elearning, waste of time.
now change liao hahaha...
During elearning I accomplished so much more than I would EVER have on school days..
I'm like going at full-speed ahead on all my work,
doing work makes me...happy
weird as it might sound, but I'm happy,
I don't even feel that stressed..
But I'm far more productive.

^^ the wonders of elearning

to-do list

2011-08-16T23:04:00.003+08:00

Chem notes
-metals
~~-redox~~
~~-energy changes~~
Physics
~~-kinetic particle theory~~
~~-heat and temperature~~
-thermal properties of matter
-transfer of thermal energy
~~-chap 10 wb~~
Amaths
~~formula book~~
~~exercises~~
10.1
Emaths formula book

Shissou- Last Alliance

2011-08-15T21:40:00.001+08:00

Running 5000 miles and running out of breath
100 Liters of adrenaline; my whole body is fully functional

It’s fine to stop here, right? To where is OK?
The trees that color the town are remodeling themselves again and again

The completely changed whiteness; the unchangeable weakness
I want to believe in the me here now

Raise your right hand and left hand and slash apart the darkness, GO!
There’s no pretense; I’m prepared
From the moment when you crossed the start, the world expands

Guided by faded streetlights that blink again and again
I go along on the usual way home

In the rusted town, a nostalgic wind blows
Turns into tailwind, and pushes my back

Until your tears dry, put away your resignation in your chest, STOP!
There’s no goal; there’s no turning back
An endless, driving sprint that cuts through the wind

Let’s return those bitter days, won’t you try opening it?
The Pandora’s box that imprisoned your dream

Whether you go first or last, if you advance then everything’s OK!
It’s okay to rest; I know it
The progress up to here; that’s your proof

Raise your right hand and left hand and slash apart the darkness, GO!

Religion

2011-08-15T19:47:00.000+08:00

Article 18 of the Declaration of Human Rights drafted by the United Nations states: Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.
I've been living with it for so long, the fact that you keep pushing me to go to church, just because you brought me up as a catholic, but have you ever thought the amount of time that I waste going to church each week when I don't even believe, I don't even participate. I just go there to sleep. Sure, it increases the number of hours I sleep. Frankly I'd rather be doing work.
Today you suddenly reminded me that it was the ascension, day of obligation, so need to go to church, I gave you this practically horrified look because I'm sorry I planned out a lot to do tonight and tomorrow morning, going to church would mean being unable to finish my work or staying up overnight just to try and finish what I set out to do. I just kept insisting that I wouldn't go, so in the end you told me," Pray about it and ask god if it's right."
I'm sorry to disappoint you, I stopped praying years ago...

Elearning 2011-day 1 Part 2

2011-08-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

Sigh...I'm drained,
Hey its supposed to be Elearning,
teachers classify this as a BREAK...
yeahhhh right...
I finished 3 subjects asynch lessons already...
Who am I kidding, I'm no where near DONE.

Goals for today and tmr morning:
Emaths ext
Physics
Chem

Hopefully I can even finish them....

Elearning 2011-day 1 Part 1

2011-08-15T04:44:00.000+08:00

Literally day 1 of elearning..

I am...-.- I DOWAN DO SIA

I wonder how teachers are going to teach subj eg, MATH thru vglf man...

I know I did it last year, but its just weird...

I thought not many people can explain math in ...

Words...

Only weird people like me can do that, and not people can understand my teaching thru words anyway...

I finished SS and Chinese Elearning liao, guess wad,

Its not due today hahhaah, EMATH is

and i haven't started...

hahahhahahaahahah

Should i even attempt to start now...-.-

Dowan sia, I mean like what is she even gonna do lor...

Should I go sleep instead....=.=

omg why is my com so warm...

com fan, u better NEVER die on me...

Amaths

2011-08-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

Thank god I passed it overall...

THANK GOD man...

But, If not for the careless mistakes...

I COULD HAVE GOTTEN FULL MARKS FOR THIS TEST!!!

Damnit...

Results

2011-08-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

My results are...

1. getting better ( I think ), well that applies for everything besides chem ;)

2. not up to standard though..

3. Supposed to be 100% A1s or AT LEAST A2s and above...

4. but hey guess what i'm getting... - out of 8 tests we've gotten back this term,

- 5 A1s

-1 B4

-1 C5

-1 F9

5. Who am I kidding, am I even going to reach my target for EOYs...

2011-08-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

Finally changed my blogskin...

to something more...

well it can be considered as...

Normal.

hahaha

2011-05-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

my geog was really bad
my english was really bad
my physics was really bad
my chem was really bad
my history was really bad
my ss was really bad
my chinese was really bad
my stress levels are really bad
my skin is peeling really bad
my resolution is really bad
my creativity is really bad
my thoughts are really bad
my level of humanity is really bad
my life now is really bad
really. bad.
omg give me a reason to live.

2011-04-20T18:05:00.000+08:00

Perseverance- in the face of disappointment, setbacks and barriers. The strength to take one step, and then another....

courage- the ability to place your dreams above your fear.

Belief-beyond hope, and have absolute faith in yourself, in your goals, in the outcome.

2011-04-18T20:13:00.000+08:00

Many thought we were the noisiest bunch, and made trouble.

But we've made it through and shown everyone that we can be leaders, despite your hate for us.

Thank you for giving us the chance to prove you wrong.

2011-03-15T20:39:00.001+08:00

half dead.

Whole body aching.

I wish i were dead...

2011-03-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

Look at my Hol Hw and wonder how I'm ever going to finish this...

die liao lah..

so muchhh

I'm like drowning already...

已经到不能挽救的地步了，你还关心我，

已经没有希望了，你叫我一定要坚持，

已经放弃了，你还继续鼓励我。

如果没有了你，我一定不会成为今天的我，

东的事时候在某些事放弃，

不要白拼，

也许如果你没有在当时那样的鼓励我，

我今天可能都已经不在了。

我们现在没那么常见，可是每次有空时，

你还会问我今天过得还好吗？

虽然我还是一样的答案，

可是我是并不想让你失望，不要你为我担心。

无论如何，我还是很感谢你，

当连我都放弃自己了，你还会对我从满希望，

虽然带给我了许多压力，同时也带给我一个机会发现自己，

给我机会认识自己，继续当我的力量，

希望我永远都不放弃。。。

虽然你有时会让我觉得很不耐烦，

可是我不后悔，

很开心有机会认识你。

（虽然原因也不是很好的）

可是我希望你不会再为我担心，是时候该为自己着想。

不要拼到那么辛苦，

你自会累坏自己，

你告诉我你这样做是因为你在做你喜欢做的事，

可是，做喜欢做的事，做久了，总会累坏的，

我也一样，为了追求完美，

在途中失去了自己的感觉，

觉得这样活下去也没有意义。。。

2011-03-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

Going to be March Hols soon, but it doesn't seem like it, it feels like I'm drifting further and further away from myself, becoming who I'd feared I'd become, becoming a person I hate.

So much to do,

So little time.

Trying to maximise time doesn't seem to be helping either...

Argh..I hate this life..

2011-03-05T13:40:00.001+08:00

Have to go study soon...so many tests..and so much other crap.

BUT I HAVE THINGS I WANNA DO!!!!

2011-03-04T17:29:00.000+08:00

我的生日。。

过了？！

哈哈谢谢所有在这十五年里支持和保护着我的人，希望可以继续陪我下半生。

谢谢那些把我的wall, spam 到不得了，从外国记短信给我，包括记了pm 给我的一些人，看了真的非常感动，没想到那么多人还会关心，感到好意外，有些事情，连我都忘了，可是你们果然没有忘了。可是虽然我不一定能记得每一件事，可是那些美好的回忆都回留在我身边。

谢谢你们给我一个非常难望的生日。

是你们给我力气继续撑下去。

只想告诉你们，没有了你们在我的生活里，就一定没有一个这样的我，没有你们，就没有今天的我。在我的生活里，你们是我本身或着力量的最大的鼓励。

Quote of the day, that i learnt from today's IBS: Yes, I can

2011-02-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

some people don't realise how lucky they are.

they don't have to fight of the temptation to kill, hate, or be perfect,

they accept themselves for what they are,

sorry.

i don't think im ready for that just yet.

2011-02-10T18:31:00.000+08:00

I'm changing, to others, its for the better, to me, I'm learning to hate myself more and more.

2011-02-10T18:27:00.000+08:00

Found this great article:)

Managing failures

In (show) business we often measure a person by their successes. Perhaps they have appeared on television or in movies or are household names. Aspiring artists often try to measure up to these icons by setting high standards of perfection. We work so hard to be perfect that we rarely think about what might happen if things, as they inevitably do, take a turn for the worse. The late Channing Pollock once said, “you can judge a great magician by how well they cover their mistakes.” That’s right, it is not only about how technically skilled we are but how well we handle failure. The way in which we stand up and move on from these obstacles will often determine how likely we are to succeed.

In my mind there are two ways to handle the inevitable obstacles. One way is to react to what has happened with disgust and irritation, thus treating the circumstance as a negative reflection on you. The other way is to analyze the circumstance (“why did it happen?”, “what actions led to this outcome?”, “how would I handle it differently next time?”) and use the answers as a learning experience. It is important not to dismiss the significance of learning from the mistakes we make to gain an understanding of what we can improve upon. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, talks about 10,000 hours as the magic number to achieve mastery. If this is true, it can take many many years and many hardships before we master a skill. The problem is many of us are afraid to make a mistake because we perceive it as a lack of ability. The truth is, most failure only reflects the absence of a learnable skill. We will never know our limits unless we push ourselves to make mistakes and learn from them. While it is easy to excuse a bad performance by blaming the audience, it is more beneficial if we can look at what we might have done to make the audience unreceptive to our magic. We should always be ready to ask ourselves “What can I do better?”, “What can I improve upon?”. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, once wrote “Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” By learning from our mistakes we prepare ourselves for the next time a similar situation arises.

2011-02-02T16:04:00.000+08:00

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

Greenday~

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

2011-01-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

你不是真正的快樂

作詞：五月天作曲：五月天

人群中哭著
你隻想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢或痛或心動了
你已經決定了你已經決定了

你靜靜忍著
緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜就是越傷人了
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深淺淺的刀割

你不是真正的快樂你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則不是你的選擇
於是你含著眼淚飄飄蕩蕩跌跌撞撞的走著

你不是真正的快樂你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了然后才后悔著

你不是真正的快樂你的笑隻是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快樂你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什麼失去了還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓悲傷全部結束在此刻重新開始活著

2011-01-23T11:19:00.000+08:00

ARGH who said weekends was meant for rest...well sure a I have more time, well yeah most of that is used for studying and music, as of always, I don't want to ever change that, but I know very soon I'm gonna be even more busy, but it doesnt always have to be this way...

I have to learn to let go of some things which were never meant to be mine...

2011-01-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

Mariah Carey- Hero

There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow But don't let anyone Tear them away Hold on There will be tomorrow In time You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

2011-01-18T21:55:00.001+08:00

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. ~Bill Lemley

2011-01-18T21:54:00.001+08:00

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

2011-01-18T21:53:00.001+08:00

Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. ~Hugh Prather

2011-01-18T21:52:00.001+08:00

There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions. ~Pen Densham,Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

2011-01-18T21:49:00.001+08:00

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher

2011-01-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing."

Too bad, this has been already my nature. Perfection, nothing less, and if more is even possible, all expected..

2011-01-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

Suddenly got really bad depression and really high...like in the morning I can't even keep up with what I'm thinking, than suddenly after Chinese lesson, I want nothing more than to die..finally I see hope for my chinese, hope I can do well on my own, and prove to myself that I can do well in my studies,can't believe i'm actually following a schedule, which includes all the subjects, for the first time in my life, I'm actually studying, when there's no test or exams to study for..

2010-12-22T11:32:00.001+08:00

Sting-Shape of my heart

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart
Thats not the shape, thats not the shape of my heart

2010-11-30T00:03:00.001+08:00

How strong you are is not determined by how good you are at fighting or your physical strength, instead, by how mentally stable you are, how able you are to let in only what you think is important , and protecting what you think is important to you.

希望我在这个十五天内可以找到我自己，也同时能想好接下来的路如何走，希望我会选的会是最好的选择，希望我接下来的日子不是更容易过，而是更有意义。希望我能把快乐带给更多人，虽然魔术是我的爱好，可是那并不代表我不会不停的追求，不断提升自己。

希望我不会让任何人失望。。。

虽然我知道那是不可能的，

人中会有不满的。

2010-11-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

The first step to overcoming a problem is admitting you have one.

But, I don't think I can.

2010-11-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna regret this now, but I don't have much choice, I have no idea how to put it all of you, I'm at a high risk, but it doesn't guarantee my death, so I'm still contemplating whether or not to tell all of you, I don't wanna scare all of you for no reason, because I think its unfair, but I want to let your know before hand, so that it won't come so sudden, make it easier for all of you to take it, I don't want anything to happen, but when it's time, yes you gotta go.

There are many things I have yet to do, yet to perfect, including myself, I will try my best to do whatever I can to help your first, and if you want me to do something for you, please tell me, or you might never get another chance, I know I have an unlimited number of magic requests, yeah email me the date and I will try to fulfill it asap, because I will be leaving soon.

“One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.”

2010-11-10T15:43:00.000+08:00

we.have.to.learn.to.let.go...

before.we.become.strangers.to.ourselves...

2010-11-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

2009 merlin award winner-Florian Zimmer

"most creative Magician" & brilliant manipulator :)

watch his performance and be wowed ...to the max

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RKC_6PV_Zo&feature=related

go check it out :) you wont regret it...i promise

2010-11-04T18:43:00.000+08:00

I hate who I am becoming, I miss who I was, and the times when I was so much happier being myself, now, I have to keep everything inside, for fear of exposing too much of my past and present feelings towards everything around me, so that I will not hurt the people around me, and I won't give up so easily, but I have stopped recognizing myself, I never thought I would become like that and don't want to be this way, but it seems like all hope is lost of doing what I want, because I have over committed and sometimes reversing what you have done seems kinda impossible when you have come so far, because you know how many people you will hurt and giving up now means all efforts before have been wasted. I want to go back and start again, and this time, I will chose what path I want to take and follow through, no more distractions, no more other commitments besides that, and make sure I do my best to become who I want to be, and not who others want me to be, because that's where I am now, and this is going nowhere, I am seldom happy, and compressing everything is not helping, thinking that I can forget everything, I am so wrong, who am I kidding, I still remember everything that I have done wrong, everyone I have unintentionally hurt, all the imperfections I have, how can I ever be happy this way? You want me to relax, but the thoughts in my mind are not flowing, but speeding at me, like I'm standing in the middle of an F1 racetrack, only waiting to be hit by a race car coming at me at 200+km/h too fast for me to react, thoughts and inspirations come at me faster than I can register, faster than I can develop, I don't want this to go on, I want to become normal, become who I once was, just an ordinary person, whom people will not notice, however now, this is quite impossible, I have made the biggest mistake of my life, coming here and being who I am, I want to go back, and start again...

I want to be who I want to be, and not who others want me to be.

2010-11-04T18:38:00.000+08:00

They look the most happy and contented on the outside, but that may not always be the case, sometimes we have to put on that brave front to make others believe that we are okay, but no one really knows how we are feeling, those who appear emo and always unhappy may be happier inside, because they have expressed their hurt feelings, but the others who appear happy, are just suppressing the hurt and discomfort, so that those around them may not notice anything wrong, but they really have no idea.

2010-11-01T12:22:00.001+08:00

When i die don't write "R.I.P" on my grave... write "B.R.B"

2010-11-01T12:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Positive People, You told me to be more positive.

So here goes: I'm pretty positive I hate you.

Sincerely, The Pessimist

2010-11-01T12:06:00.001+08:00

There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding".

A little knowledge behind every "I don't know"
A little emotion behind every "I don't care"
And a little pain behind every "it's okay"

2010-11-01T11:49:00.000+08:00

Just because I'm different does not mean I'm not the same. -Shiloh 23/10/2008

2010-10-28T15:19:00.000+08:00

歌手：張芸京

相反的我

我看見鏡子後面皺著眉的我
很孤單怕有話想說
像天空不會永遠都是藍色的
有陰天你才會抬頭
走穿多少的巷弄笑了哭了
有三四個人愛我
我想要一個亂了數字的時鐘
我想做一個完全相反的我
我在這個世界拼命是什麼
累死我

我有雙不聽任何命令的耳朵
去享受快樂加上自由的我
我要變成一個透明的石頭
我不會動也不會痛

想念的憂鬱太重累積了所以
原諒我想消失自重
每個人都在喧鬧的軌道奔走
講真的我想要呼救
請看愛情的臉孔
美的醜的
幾千萬人都被愚弄了

我想要一個亂了數字的時鐘
我想做一個完全相反的我
我在這個世界拼命是什麼
累死我

我有雙不聽任何命令的耳朵
去享受快樂加上自由的我
我要變成一個透明的石頭
我不會動也不會痛

我想要一個亂了數字的時鐘
我想做一個完全相反的我
我在這個世界拼命是什麼
累死我

我有雙不聽任何命令的耳朵
去享受快樂加上自由的我
我要變成一個透明的石頭
我不會動也不會痛

2010-10-28T12:41:00.000+08:00

I feel so dead, don't wanna leave 2C1, and all the memories I have had of this class, with so many people who care for me like no one else would, I won't put you behind me, but beside me, everyday although I will still get to see you, but it's something different, we aren't united as classmates anymore, will we still say hi? Will we still wish others good luck and urge them on during times of difficulties? Will be by each other's side in times of sadness and pain? Will we be able to get free tuition from each other? Are we still able to rely on each other to keep secrets? Are we going to do so much together? study together, do random stuff together, talk, and maybe just lend a ear to a friend...

I'm going to miss all of that, and all of you, although we aren't going to be in the same class anymore, for most of us, our cliques are going to be split up, all of us too, we have had many good memories, in class and outside class, hopefully, we can still get together every once in a while, and when the going gets tough, we all need the assurance that someone will be there for us, someone we can rely on, someone whom we can trust. It's going to be hard for most of us, after spending 2 years together, for those taking normal Chinese, hope we can at least still be in the same class, and continue to spend time together, because the friends that we have now will always be cherished, and no one can ever take your place, because everyone is different in her own way, and I doubt that is going to change, her good points that outshine her bad points, enough to make her special in her own way.

There isn't much time left in 2010, so lets make the most out of it, and may the good memories last with us forever, we have not gone through this 2 years for nothing.

♥1C1 '09 and 2C1 '10 forever, you have been a great class, different from all the others I have had, because of all of my great classmates who make this class different.

2010-10-28T12:38:00.000+08:00

Who am I

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.

2010-10-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

Just did a career choice test..wow, you will never guess man...my result:

As an Independent Thinker, you are one of the introverted personality types. That is one of the reasons you prefer to work alone. This does not mean that you cannot be successful in a team, as well. For you, the task is most important and people who are involved come second. The contact with others, the necessity to adjust yourself to their daily changing sensitivities - all of it is just more gratuitous emotion that keep you from totally devoting yourself to those things that truly interest you: analyzing systems and policies, researching potentials for change, developing new ideas and implementing them in reality.

Here you differ from the second introverted Thinker type, the Analytical Thinker: You truly enjoy implementing your concepts and you enjoy the results. Therefore you should look for a work environment where you can accompany and expedite your ideas through to their conclusion. You consider difficult situations as challenges that really try your creativity and you frequently surprise people around you with genuinely incredibly bright ideas, rendering others speechless with their excellence. Your world consists of statistics, legitimacy, and systematics.

Considering all of this, your Thinker type is very praxis-oriented, and by no means lives on an intellectual ivory tower. You are not interested in theories not related to reality. As in chess, you are excellent at predicting the consequences of your methods in advance, and then choosing the appropriate alternative. Once you have made your decision on how to deal with a situation, you are totally willing to use your elbows and you don’t necessarily show any consideration for others. With that, you occasionally encounter resistance from other, less task-oriented colleagues that you quickly brush aside.

You resent routine jobs or monotonic order of events. You believe that they smother your creativity. If necessary, your determination and unusual ambition will convince you to acquiesce to the inevitable. Nevertheless, when choosing your profession, you should be mindful that your working environment is going to provide you with something new to learn and that your tasks are as varied as possible. Your strength lies in solving novel problems and not working on details. Nor should your curiosity ever be satisfied; just as fresh information is as important to you as the air you breathe, so is the feeling that you continuously expand and increase your competencies. An activity where you do the same thing in the same department with the same colleagues for 20 years is the worst fate that can possibly happen to a hungry mind.

WOW idk what to think...

2010-10-16T09:24:00.000+08:00

Learning the human psychology on music XD, its after exams, but I'm still learning, difference is that this is something I like :)
hertz (symbol: Hz) is the SI unit of frequency defined as the number of cycles per second of a periodic phenomenon.

2010-10-15T09:20:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired, exams are over, I don't feel like going anywhere though, I just feel like staying at home, but although I'm free now, I don't feel as happy as I should be...

I still feel dead inside...

All the external problems are troubling everyone,

For me, my biggest problem is in my head...

2010-10-14T18:50:00.001+08:00

got addicted to photography..

2010-10-14T16:08:00.000+08:00

NO MORE CRY

No more cry
No more cry
To tomorrow
No more cry
No more cry
to tomorrow
someone this precious to me
even thought they are right next to me
I don't notice they are crying
scribbled on the top of my desk
are pieves of a brilliant dream
I keep them hidden away in my heart
these lonely days, Lets stop repeating them
these lonely days, Lets stop repeating them
let's change them into the color of the sky
I was used to running away
thinking I was all by myself
I'm saying "goodbye" to those yesterdays!
I'm gonna run
No more cry
No more cry
Im gonna hold on to your hand
to tomorrow
no more cry
no more cry
rather than tears of sorrow
I want to shed tears of joy!

2010-10-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we died
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . Relax .. . .
And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe....
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe....
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done

when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be
the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.

I Believe.....
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

2010-10-12T19:50:00.000+08:00

2-M-O-R-E-P-A-P-E-R-S...

G-A-S-P...

I still have duty tomorrow, luckily, than can study in peace, away from the classroom...I'm desperate to get this over and done with sia, on the verge of collapsing, although I have not studied much, and I seriously slack, only did 2 math papers, when others did 13...

I feel so...(unexpressable)

2010-10-05T16:25:00.000+08:00

I weird in the first pic...that was taken very long ago, at the airport, although you are not here with us anymore, you will always live in my heart...

2010-10-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

死定了吧。。。明天paper 1 都还没学完格式，算了，惨了，反正今晚要拼命了吧。

我今天真的不应该做别的事，该用心学习，可惜我一直不能，我看是我有问题吧。。。每次这样，考到烂成绩是理所当然的吧。。。好像放弃一切，就算我不及格，都过去了，他们最多把我提出学校咯，没什么大不了的，反正我是不务正业的人，不上学和上学也没什么两样的。。没什么大不了，反正我做喜欢做的事就行了。

我超想她，可是再也没有机会见到她，只能从照片回忆当时，可是无法回到那时候，在度过那些快乐的时刻，我非常后悔以前没有多陪她，虽然她每次都是我的第一个观众，我不舍得让她走，我要他永远留在我的身边，虽然过了四个月，可是我还是放不下，一直怀念着她，希望时间能倒转，能回到以前，让我在改变每一刻。

我完全没有办法忘记你，希望有一天我们会再有机会见面，我有很多话要对你说，很多东西要给你看，我没有办法放下这一切，你是唯一能让我有这样感受的人，虽然我已经忍耐了很久，我已经快不能承受了，我快要疯了，没有一天我不想你，没有一天我没有为了你而感到非常难受，每天想着不可能再发生的事，你在年中考试去世，现在到了年底考试，我记得以前每一次温习时，只会想到你，应为我不想让你这样就离开我们。。。

我始终不甘愿，我始终放不下，你为什么没有给我们机会见你最后一次，给我一次机会。。。我一直感觉到自己已经预测日期，我真的希望我们早一点做了准备，我知道自己是应该做好了准备，我当时以为自己会承受的了，没想到是相反的后果。。。

生活没有你，知道有多没意思吗？

作詞 : 周杰倫　作曲 : 周杰倫　監製 : 周杰倫

雨淋濕了天空毀得很講究
妳說妳不懂為何在這時牽手
我曬乾了沉默悔得很衝動
就算這是做錯也只是怕錯過

在一起叫夢～
分開了叫痛～
是不是說沒有做完的夢最痛～
迷路的後果～
我能承受這最後的出口在愛過了才有

能不能給我一首歌的時間
緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠
在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠
哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間
把故事聽到最後才說再見
妳送我的眼淚讓它留在雨天
哦越過妳劃的線我定了勇氣的終點

雨淋濕了天空毀得很講究
妳說妳不懂我為何在這時牽手
我曬乾了沉默悔得很衝動
就算這是做錯也只是怕錯過

在一起叫夢～
分開了叫痛～
是不是說沒有做完的夢最痛～
迷路的後果～
我能承受這最後的出口在愛過了才有

能不能給我一首歌的時間
緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠
在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠
哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間
把故事聽到最後才說再見
妳送我的眼淚讓它留在雨天
哦越過妳劃的線我定了勇氣的終點

哦妳說我不該不該不該在這時候說了我愛妳
要怎麼證明我沒有說謊的力氣哦請告訴我
暫停算不算放棄我只有一天的回憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間
緊緊的把那擁抱變成永遠
在我的懷裡妳不用害怕失眠
哦如果妳想忘記我也能失憶

能不能給我一首歌的時間
把故事聽到最後才說再見
妳送我的眼淚讓它留在雨天
哦越過妳劃的線我定了勇氣的終點

妳說我不該不該不該在這時說了愛妳
要怎麼證明我沒有力氣告訴我暫停算不算放棄
妳說我不該不該不該在這時才說愛妳
要怎麼證明我沒有力氣我只有一天的回憶

2010-09-30T10:30:00.001+08:00

SICK today...shouldn't have come to school

2010-09-24T20:06:00.001+08:00

Hate is like cancer, it can spread and kill a person, one "life cell" a day, at a time. If hatred goes unchecked it can take over one's life.

2010-09-24T20:04:00.001+08:00

Make and maintain the commitment of being your own person.

Above all, its your life and its your choice.

2010-09-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

"Let go of a past you cannot change." - Dave Pelzer

2010-09-24T19:58:00.000+08:00

So why is it that we can't get our mind to let go? The basic answer is that your brain is simply trying to find a precise solution to that particular problem. If the problem is overwhelming, your mind will not function to its full capacity because it is being drawn to the dilemma it is focused on. If the brain is not allowed to rest, it can psychologically speaking, crash.

2010-09-24T19:54:00.000+08:00

All of us tend to suppress problems rather than deal with them as soon as they come unexpectedly, and it doesn't have to come from a traumatic experience either.

There are some of us, who have been in turbulent relationships and stayed in them, and would rather just go along than risk being abandoned or face the possibility of a confrontation.

2010-09-24T19:52:00.001+08:00

Everyone of us has a past. All of us have had our share of problems, no one has a perfect life. Loved ones pass away, parents divorce. Others who don't strive as hard and don't deserve the prized promotion receive it.We've all suffered broken hearts and some, an unfortunate childhood.

2010-09-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

“Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it.”

My life is like a so much like a canon...SO REPETITIVE, just with a few minor adjustments, such a life is so meaningless, or maybe like a rap, has its ups and its downs, up to the extremes...

"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence."

2010-09-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

"Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up"

Giving up...bit-by-bit....

2010-09-21T17:18:00.000+08:00

I don't regret hurting you,
I regret not killing you.

2010-09-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

Never-ending pain,
Never-ending suffering,
Never-ending stress,
Never-ending exams,
Never-ending homework,
Never-ending hate,
Never-ending regret,
Never-ending memories,
Never-ending chores,
Never-ending activities,
Never-ending responsibilities,
Never-ending change of feelings,
Never-ending fear,
Never-ending irritation,
Never-ending hurt,
Never-ending unexpressed feelings,
Never-ending sadness,
Never-ending tasks,
Never-ending expectations,
Never-ending rivalry,
Never-ending jealousy,
Never-ending grudges,
Never-ending thoughts of suicide.

make my never-ending life just unbearable.

2010-09-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

I hate that I'm a perfectionist,
that I can be so wrong about things,
that I have so much hate trapped in me,
that I feel so much for the most stupid things,
that people look at me differently from how I see myself,
that I think differently from others,
that I can't love normally,
that I can't seem to let go of the past and start anew,
that I am giving up on myself and on life,
that others appreciate me more than I appreciate myself,
that I can't give myself another chance,
that I can't change the way I am,
that I cannot stand noise,
that I cannot stand other's presence,
that I detest myself most of all,
that I carry on life although it is this meaningless,
that although I have tried to kill myself countless times,
I have not succeeded.

Maybe god wanted me to live for a reason, but I haven't found that out yet, maybe I won't, maybe I will, but it's not now, that's for sure, maybe he wants me to make a difference in other's lives, but for now, I think the only difference I make is a negative difference, which I hope can be changed in the future, hopefully changing who I am.

Haru Haru eng

2010-09-20T16:55:00.001+08:00

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
Ah ah ah ah~

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(say goodbye)

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
[Chorus]
Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

[Chorus]

I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

[Chorus]

Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye

“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”

2010-09-20T16:45:00.000+08:00

Never wanted to lose you, but it would not have let me see how much I need you in my life.

We fail to see the importance of someone or something, until they are taken away from us, why can't we treasure them while we still have them?

All that we want to say, say it before it's too late, when there is no chance to do so, than we think back and regret that we should have said so much more, but now, we don't have to chance to say it anymore.

Death may have been the best thing, but you left all of us behind to suffer in your absence.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”