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Perfection is our goal, excellence will be tolerated.;D
Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is just a sign that we have been strong for too long. ^0^
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Yes. I know. Common.

Timeless / Wednesday, December 7, 2011 @ 2:47 PM

've not posted since I came back from the trip, but well maybe because I've been feeling abnormal ever since, the days are passing by too quickly. I question what I've been doing these days, besides sleeping my life away.. Its like I don't even remember what I did these few days.

They all pass in a blur.

New responsibilities have come in as well, 2012 Crezmun. Got elected as Asst. Secretary General, I really don't know if I can cope next year, still running events like this year, okay maybe not like this year, this year was crazy. Not the same, but similar. My parents question my dedication towards my studies. Well, all I can say is, if I want to handle all these things, something will have to be sacrificed, which obviously will be health. I wonder how many hours of sleep I'd average next year. This year it was 2-3hrs a day, obviously it wasn't enough, but well I deal with it. I wouldn't say there was no choice, but if I wanted to not sacrifice that, then some of my responsibilities would obviously have to go, and I just couldn't let go. Hopefully next year I can start catching at least 5hrs of sleep a day..

My plan to finish sec 4 syllabus by the end of the year is.. Epic fail, I don't have the motivation, at all. Everyone is questioning my sanity for even wanting to do it, but I say, how else will I survive next year? I'm missing common tests, I'm going to be busy with Crezmun during MYEs. The only way is to plan ahead and make sure I do consistently well. Expectations which have been non-existent from my parents until now, have started coming in. Discussing which JC I wanna go to has been absolutely hell. It seems that they're against me going overseas to study, even if I say I'll fight for a scholarship. Then the question, you think you're good enough to get one? At this point all I want to tell them is, if you're going to doubt this much, maybe I'll fail my O Levels, maybe I won't even be eligible for JC, so why think about it if there's this possibility there may not be that chance to make that choice? Plan ahead, but take one step at a time. They seem to fail to understand that.

They take my MUN achievements like they're normal competitions. They have questioned my reasons for going for the NY MUN next year. What's the point of going? You going into something related in the future? Isn't the O Levels more important? Where are your priorities? If you want to go, can you still guarantee that you'll do well for O levels?

Look. DEFINE Well. You've never told me exact expectations, you just tell me you want me to do my best. Then how am I supposed to gauge what is well done and what is not. I get indefinite expectations from everyone. In school, before I set out on a task, they tell me, so you know roughly what I want right? Am I supposed to say No? Sometimes they don't even know what they want, but they expect me to give them what they want. Just because I was a magician doesn't make me a mind-reader. At home, you tell me its fine not to do well as long as I've learnt from the experience. Wait till I get home with the results, pure disappointing. But you said like the night before that results don't really matter. What?! You want me to trust. Ever thought How?

My parents ask why I'm sleeping so late or rather to be exact "early". Well if they really wanted to know, because I'm avoiding all contact with them. I'm used to a lone world. I don't like being around people. I get it, its your school holidays as well, you're staying at home. I'm not used to that ok? I stay up because I get the feeling of being alone. To me that's an ecstasy. Its a longing in me. Maybe you just don't understand. I tried explaining that to you guys, and you shoot me down asking, do I disturb you when I'm at home? No you don't. I just can't stand the presence of any living creature,

I wish I could move out again, just like I did in June. Preparing for ACMUN was so much easier, I worked with my time however I liked.

In fact, I'm timeless.

Perfection is our goal, excellence will be tolerated.;D Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is just a sign that we have been strong for too long. ^0^ Use the letters above to navigate. Yes. I know. Common.
Profile Because no one can be similar Jlee Hikokomori class-3G3 '11 bdae-3/3 CGS AVA FTW ultimate sadist determined, sometimes to the extreme definitely has high expectations Acousticophobia- Fear of noise Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection. Atychiphobia- Fear of failure Ligyrophobia- Fear of loud noises. Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others. -I live,sleep,talk- [magic] [music] :)do piano, guitar,drums
Timeless / Wednesday, December 7, 2011 @ 2:47 PM 've not posted since I came back from the trip, but well maybe because I've been feeling abnormal ever since, the days are passing by too quickly. I question what I've been doing these days, besides sleeping my life away.. Its like I don't even remember what I did these few days. They all pass in a blur. New responsibilities have come in as well, 2012 Crezmun. Got elected as Asst. Secretary General, I really don't know if I can cope next year, still running events like this year, okay maybe not like this year, this year was crazy. Not the same, but similar. My parents question my dedication towards my studies. Well, all I can say is, if I want to handle all these things, something will have to be sacrificed, which obviously will be health. I wonder how many hours of sleep I'd average next year. This year it was 2-3hrs a day, obviously it wasn't enough, but well I deal with it. I wouldn't say there was no choice, but if I wanted to not sacrifice that, then some of my responsibilities would obviously have to go, and I just couldn't let go. Hopefully next year I can start catching at least 5hrs of sleep a day.. My plan to finish sec 4 syllabus by the end of the year is.. Epic fail, I don't have the motivation, at all. Everyone is questioning my sanity for even wanting to do it, but I say, how else will I survive next year? I'm missing common tests, I'm going to be busy with Crezmun during MYEs. The only way is to plan ahead and make sure I do consistently well. Expectations which have been non-existent from my parents until now, have started coming in. Discussing which JC I wanna go to has been absolutely hell. It seems that they're against me going overseas to study, even if I say I'll fight for a scholarship. Then the question, you think you're good enough to get one? At this point all I want to tell them is, if you're going to doubt this much, maybe I'll fail my O Levels, maybe I won't even be eligible for JC, so why think about it if there's this possibility there may not be that chance to make that choice? Plan ahead, but take one step at a time. They seem to fail to understand that. They take my MUN achievements like they're normal competitions. They have questioned my reasons for going for the NY MUN next year. What's the point of going? You going into something related in the future? Isn't the O Levels more important? Where are your priorities? If you want to go, can you still guarantee that you'll do well for O levels? Look. DEFINE Well. You've never told me exact expectations, you just tell me you want me to do my best. Then how am I supposed to gauge what is well done and what is not. I get indefinite expectations from everyone. In school, before I set out on a task, they tell me, so you know roughly what I want right? Am I supposed to say No? Sometimes they don't even know what they want, but they expect me to give them what they want. Just because I was a magician doesn't make me a mind-reader. At home, you tell me its fine not to do well as long as I've learnt from the experience. Wait till I get home with the results, pure disappointing. But you said like the night before that results don't really matter. What?! You want me to trust. Ever thought How? My parents ask why I'm sleeping so late or rather to be exact "early". Well if they really wanted to know, because I'm avoiding all contact with them. I'm used to a lone world. I don't like being around people. I get it, its your school holidays as well, you're staying at home. I'm not used to that ok? I stay up because I get the feeling of being alone. To me that's an ecstasy. Its a longing in me. Maybe you just don't understand. I tried explaining that to you guys, and you shoot me down asking, do I disturb you when I'm at home? No you don't. I just can't stand the presence of any living creature, I wish I could move out again, just like I did in June. Preparing for ACMUN was so much easier, I worked with my time however I liked. In fact, I'm timeless.
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